Oh no he didn’t… Clarkson’s best antics

When we found out that the Beeb had decided to go ahead and let Jezza host Have I Got News For You, we were confused. Nutting someone over a minor beef (quite literally), clearly makes you unsuitable for the nation’s favourite car show yet totally suitable for a show that pokes fun at Ed Miliband.

But in a classic ‘is he, isn’t he?’, as of Friday morning, news broke that the presenter won’t actually be upholding his slot. Apparently it was realised that firing him from one BBC show to have him on another was completely going against BBC policy.

While we’d all get sacked if we punched a colleague (i.e. the punishment was just), for many of us the show we’ve loved for years will now only air as repeats on Dave. And that’s a very sad thing. So while Jezza has been a fool one time too many, here’s our nostalgic run down of his ‘best’ Top Gear antics.

May his columns continue…


On the series:

“If you have any thoughts or opinions on anything you’ve seen in the past 10 weeks, please do keep them to yourselves.”

On diesels:

“Sure it’s quiet for a diesel, but that’s like being well-behaved… for a murderer.”

On ‘family’ cars:

“This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying “ooh good I’ve got syphilis, the best of the sexually transmitted diseases”.

Nature commentaries:

“And the elephants use their noses to shovel water into their mouths”.

On the environment:

“We don’t have a carbon footprint, we drive everywhere”.

On bikes:

James: “What don’t you get about bikes?”

Jeremy: “I just don’t like the idea of dressing up as a Power Ranger to go down to the pub and drink orange juice all afternoon”.

On economics:

“The basic price (Ferrari F430) is about £118,000, which is really not bad. I mean, sell the house, sell the children for medical experiments, rob a bank, and you will soon get that money”.

On massive cock-ups:

That Number Plate.

Apparently the reference to the Falklands was a complete coincidence. Given that most people think the likelihood of that being a coincidence is about the same as winning the lottery and getting hit by lightning in the same day, Jeremy and co were understandably in trouble.

But what disgusted the public more was the fact that it was the crew who got pelted with rocks. During the filming which took place after the ‘fracas’ started, it showed a convoy of crew cars putting themselves in dangerous situations, including receiving the news that angry groups could be waiting in towns en-route.

We can only assume that Clarkson and co were air lifted out in gold-plated helicopters.

If you’d like a cheeky (yet not shockingly offensive) custom number plate, we’d recommended building your own number plate with our bespoke builder. If you want, you can even add your favourite Clarkson quote to the bottom!


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